Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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