i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
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i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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