is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
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I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
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Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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