that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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