Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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