so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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