Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
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slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
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And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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