She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The adults are the big ones right?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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