I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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