Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I can text with my tongue
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
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This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
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I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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