So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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