he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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