just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize