I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize