I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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