i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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