Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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