guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize