You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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