Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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