I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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