You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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