I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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