guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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