My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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