No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
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There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
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yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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