I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize