I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize