I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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