Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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