Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize