The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize