Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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