your thong is hanging out like whoa
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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