You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
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I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
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Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
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I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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