Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize