I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
How did I end up in the pool?!
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And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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