Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
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Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
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I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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