Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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