So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize