he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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