I am in a vortex of obligation.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
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