we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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