I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick has a subreddit
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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