She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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