How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize