Can Purell be used as lube?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You made out with two different species that night
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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