I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize