The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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