Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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